by Anton Wills-Eve
<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/write-here-write-now/”>Write Here, Write Now</a>
I think I managed the prompt .
I can feel a phobic panic attack about to start,
And expecting it is the most frightening part.
I cannot escape as it relentlessly draws near,
Apprehension is far worse than the final fear.
By then helpless terror has me in its grasp,
Choking I cannot shout, or breathe or gasp.
I am at the mercy of all I irrationally dread;
“Oh. God please take me. Would I were dead!”
I cannot move, screwed to where I stand
Unable to seek help with voice or hand.
Instinctively I fight, faint, fall, and sweat,
I Suffer awful mental pain, and yet…
Now, when it is over, and once again I’m sane,
And have restored my control of limbs and brain,
I try hard to relax, but remain totally quite numb
Mind and body awaiting the next attack to come!
Nice to read your post.
thanks. Too true, sadly!
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Do you take medication for your panic attacks, or would it interfere with your other medications – or with your life?
Jane I don’t know if my answer reached you via my other account . I have been on 30mg of valium a day for 57 years sodium amitol for 5 years before that. I have a couple of acute attacks a day lasting around 10mins minimum, but if they occur in unmanageable places they can go on for 30 mins and be very tiring muscularly,.that is what the diazepam controls.the best physical treatment for the anxiety was alcohol but that had to go befoe it killed me! my prayers have always helped me stay sane thrrogh all my illnesses.a lot of other medication treats other ailments but my cancer requires morphine patches all the time, renewed weekly. Otherwise I’m fine 🙂 ciao Anton
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“Otherwise I’m fine.” – I love your positive attitude. I suppose your unshakable faith must help, but ai truly admire you for your strength, I don’t know how you remain compos mentis with all that medication.
You mention your other account. What other account?
2 points.we recently upgraded our pc,laptops and tablets and my wife and I somehow got gmail accs automatically and I don’t always remember which
I ‘m using. The unintentional break in this reply answers point 2, my concentration can be erratic! but basically it is being on regular anxiety pills since the age of 9 that has given me a naturally very high tolerance level of all pills of that type. I am lucky, though, because I also got used to being an anomally so young that I took my health in my stride very early in life and was determined to fight back
so it probably never hit me as it would have done if it had happened suddenly at university or later. Ok it may be an effort at times, but I’m already 14 years past the doctors’ terminal prediction so someone must be keeing an eye on me :). Take care. Anton
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This sounds horrible! The post is very descriptive though.