by Anton Wills-Eve

<a href=””>Dictionary, Shmictionary</a>

my second prompt today.




We’ve got a really lovely dog,

We’ve had Fred all his life

But now he’s at that awkward age

He’s looking for a wife.


Two doors down there lives a lady,

Who’s got a sexy female Poodle.

So Fred went up to this little cutie

Barking, “can you and I canoodle?”


Well Poodles only speak in French

But liked Fred all the same.”

“Je m’apelle Fifi, Monsieur” she woofed

Barked Fred, “ Well, Fred’s my name.”


Now, dogs have two legs at each end

Not quite like you and I.

So when they fancy loving 

The gal stands before the guy.


Late one afternoon our little daughter

Came upon such a scene

And rushed to tell me, “Daddy you’ll

Never guess what I’ve just seen.


I think Fifi’s had an accident

She must have hurt a leg or paw

Cos Fred’s pushing her to the vet,

And I think he shuts at four.”


My little Jenny was expecting me to help.

I calmed her and told her Fifi was okay.

I said, “They’re only making little puppy dogs”.

Well, tell me, what else could I say?


Said Jenny, “Dogs mated to make puppies,

At school that’s what they told us all in class.

And I don’t think they seem too matey,

Look! Fifi’s even fallen over on the grass.


“Oh dad, the’re kissing, they really are in love.”

She said, as the dogs went behind a tree.

Boy was I glad, because what Fifi was kissing,

Was the one thing my Jenny didn’t see.


Back home, Mum said “She is what we call a bitch.

Was she on a lead or did her owner call?”

To which Jenny, with a deep frown, replied

“Oh no Mum. That bitch wasn’t there at all!”


Anton Wills-Eve