SOFT PAW CORN
by Anton Wills-Eve
<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/dictionary-shmictionary/”>Dictionary, Shmictionary</a>
my second prompt today.
SOFT PAW CORN
We’ve got a really lovely dog,
We’ve had Fred all his life
But now he’s at that awkward age
He’s looking for a wife.
Two doors down there lives a lady,
Who’s got a sexy female Poodle.
So Fred went up to this little cutie
Barking, “can you and I canoodle?”
Well Poodles only speak in French
But liked Fred all the same.”
“Je m’apelle Fifi, Monsieur” she woofed
Barked Fred, “ Well, Fred’s my name.”
Now, dogs have two legs at each end
Not quite like you and I.
So when they fancy loving
The gal stands before the guy.
Late one afternoon our little daughter
Came upon such a scene
And rushed to tell me, “Daddy you’ll
Never guess what I’ve just seen.
I think Fifi’s had an accident
She must have hurt a leg or paw
Cos Fred’s pushing her to the vet,
And I think he shuts at four.”
My little Jenny was expecting me to help.
I calmed her and told her Fifi was okay.
I said, “They’re only making little puppy dogs”.
Well, tell me, what else could I say?
Said Jenny, “Dogs mated to make puppies,
At school that’s what they told us all in class.
And I don’t think they seem too matey,
Look! Fifi’s even fallen over on the grass.
“Oh dad, the’re kissing, they really are in love.”
She said, as the dogs went behind a tree.
Boy was I glad, because what Fifi was kissing,
Was the one thing my Jenny didn’t see.
Back home, Mum said “She is what we call a bitch.
Was she on a lead or did her owner call?”
To which Jenny, with a deep frown, replied
“Oh no Mum. That bitch wasn’t there at all!”
Ah the horrors and humors of sex education! http://judydykstrabrown.com/2015/08/01/foreign-tongues-2/
Judy, this happened to my 8 year old sister & my dad in 1949! Mum’s use of ‘bitch’ was a little regular! ☺ Anton