by Anton Wills-Eve
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Blogger in a Strange Land.”
<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/blogger-in-a-strange-land/”>Blogger in a Strange Land</a>
I was tweeting at the time this happened. I can’t remember to whom. I was looking out the first floor sunset window, the room that looks straight into the setting sun and is furnished exactly as I want it both to relax and work. Well I heard the cat definitely miaowing outside the window. But it couldn’t be there, there was no ledge. I hurried over to see what was happening.
As I pushed open the double glass windows and strained to look down I lost my balance and was literally left hanging by my feet some thirty feet from the ground. I looked down and luckily it was a flower bed, but even so I thought I’d rather be rescued, and luckily I still had my tablet in my hand.
Upside down the tablet looked all wrong. The keyboard for a start was downside up and when I texted my sister to help me, I knew she was in, I tapped all the wrong keys. I could not wait much longer as my left leg, which was taking most of the strain, was going numb.
So I threw the flaming tablet away in the hope of being able to find a more conventional way of clambering back in the window. From down below I heard a loud miaow and the cat shot our of the flowers as my tablet hit it. My indignant sister came out of the garden door to see who was torturing her pet, spotted me the wrong way up some thirty feet above her and shouted,
“Serves you right for throwing things at Kiwi – what else do you call an all black cat? – you can stay there all night, and serve you right.”
At this point a felt two hands grabbing my ankles. It was my ten year old daughter. “Help. Daddy’s about to fall to his death. Help!”
“Well he is if you push instead of pull,” I answered and politely requested a piece of rope first tied to the window frame. I got one, but only after a major exercise in girl guide knot tying which consistently failed until my wife appeared on the scene and hauled me back in.
As I retrieved my tablet I remembered that famous question, how long would it take one million monkeys typing at random to produce the works of Shakespeare? It made me wonder what I had written. A load of rubbish no doubt. You can imagine my amazement when I saw that I had typed, quite unwittingly, ‘The other way up, you idiot!’
I couldn’t believed it and ran indoors at once to show my wife. “Jane, look you won’t believe this!” She didn’t, because she and my sister were bent double with mirth on the floor as my sister managed to say, “And the raving fool even fell for it!”
You do not have to copy John Cleese in the film “Fish called Wanda” which I have seen at least five times where Kevin Kline is punishing him by suspending him from a top floor window by his feet to make him apologise. Or did you do it all by yourself?
I have heard a lot about that film but never seen it,
I, must catch up with it.
Is this fiction, Anton? I hope so. My 8th grade teacher really did hang a kid out the window to punish him. He had good qualities, but was quite the sadist as well. Judy https://grieflessons.wordpress.com/2015/06/08/handmade/
Very much fiction. Judy. The only true bit is the sunset room.