by Anton Wills-Eve
word prompt Feb 17/2015 five foods
<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/five-a-day/”>Five a Day</a>
It was awful being flown to the island, especially as my kidnappers had hijacked a jet with nothing but first class seats on it. It was almost ready for take off to Florida when they threw me on board, the crew and stewards off board, and we were away into the scarlet sunset sky. I wondered who on earth they thought I was.
The US president? No my suit was obviously hand made in London or Milan. Emma Watson? Whoever made that mistake was going to get his face seriously rearranged! President of the European Bank? No that was obviously him flying the lane. Well Warren Buffet then? No I had no loan sharks with me. Then I got it. They had made a mistake!
“Wotta you take for me mister Bond? I noah spy in disguise anywhere. Saya your last words before I shoota you”
I had to play along. Well I’d been rumbled. I needed some last words quick. Oh God, and they had to be memorable too. “Dis guy’s what?”
“Dat guy’s Watt? You sure Mr Bond? Okay Watt, degame’s up.”
“I say’ what.” A voice whispered in my ear as I woke up over the Pacific. “The food’s very good on this airline’ isn’t it? Try the caviar’ But really old chap I do think you look like Bond.”
I was starting to like my traveling companion, and replied “Yes I have been taken for Daniel Craig once before.” As I was nodding off back to sleep almost at once I could have sworn he said, “Thinking of Sean Connery, actually.”
The highjackers brought the plane to a skidding halt on a deserted island and threw me into a wooden shack and grimaced, “Au revoir Senor Bondo. But we no starve you, wotta you ‘ave?”
“Well I’d love some crisply fried whitebate and some caviar. Then a tourndos steak Rossini, some very soft brie cheese and Strega drizzled creme brulee. For drinky poohs a Montrachet ’93 and a Crozes-Hermitage ’07……”
“Eh. Oo d’you fink you are? All we got is five Pizzas! An’ day are all da same!”