Anton's Ideas

Anton Wills-Eve on world news & random ideas

My Hero


<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/pleased-to-meet-you/”>Pleased to Meet You</a>

following the wordpress prompt imagining what happened when two famous literary or screen (or both) characters met for the first time.

                                       My Hero

Our story opens on the bustling set of a new Hollywood blockbuster. A young girl approaches a young man….obligatory in pre-war movies.

“Oh, Mr.Butler. At last. I’ve heard so much about you, and that great photograph by Matt Brady, you were so handsome in it. But in real life you’re even more attractive. I’ve gone all goose bumps, and feel shy which isn’t like me at all.”

“I’m sorry honey, I didn’t catch your name. If you want an autograph you’ll have to see my agent Mrs. Mitchel. They say we’re going to have a civil war any day soon and I don’t want that English creep Leslie stealing the lead role from me, so if you’ll  excuse me…”

“Oh No. So cruel. Cruel, too cruel, do you hear me? I too am English and on top of that  I can act. Take me instead of him. Please, ” and she aimed a swoon at two outstretched arms, not noticing they were trying to light a five foot long cigar.

“Cut!! For Lords sakes, honey the censor will never pass that scene. You missed his arms and your head hit his knee on your way to the ground. And what did you say your name was? Viv Pink? What sort of a name is that? ” But the debonair Mr.Butler rose to her rescue.

” She’s cuter than Leslie, give her the job and let’s get this movie started or people will have read the book before we have time to ruin it. Also the war’s getting closer and I don’t want to be caught up in Atlanta when the flames hit the fan.”

At this the hitherto unknown lady cried out in an ecstacy of overacting, ” Oh Mr.Butler, thank you. You’ve made my career. Oh just think, I’ll divorce you and marry Larry and have lost of little Scarlets and Retts and be famous and never have to beg on the street corners of Hollywood again.”

The director lost his patience. “Look lady you’ve just been given the lead part in Gone with ….Gone with… what’s this damn movie called? ‘The Wind!?’ No kiddin’! ‘The Wind.’ Okay. So I’ll make ‘The Wind’. Now act or that Olivia dame will get your part and you’ll be on the next boat back to Liverpool, England. Okay guys, roll!”

At that moment Clark Gable  – “who the hell’s he? Is he in this movie? You sure? News to me still I get paid thousands just to shout roll and cut so let’s get on with it” – strode onto the set his eyebrows twitching and his nostrils flaring as he tried to emote passion. Thomas Mitchell looked at him and said, “you sure Trigger didn’t get offered your part, bud?” They almost had the whole of the civil war right there and then but fortunately Raymond Massey was having a manicure so they had no one to play the lead in the sub plot, ‘death of a president.’

And as the sun set on the studio filled with our cine-celebrated characters, Viv Pink had a sudden call of nature and in her first natural remark to Clark  said, “Could you lend me a coin to go to the ladies?” To which he replied,

“I’m fresh outta dimes, baby, but I could give you a damn!”

And now we see the whole scene closing at sunset with a young wannabe actor struggling to think up a title for a cowboy film he wanted to star in with twelve year old Grace Kelly. On the pad in front of him he had written and crossed out,….  eleven seventeen….eight thirty four….six twenty pm ….

Hollywood legend has it that it took him another ten years to think up the eventual title. “Low Midnight!”

Anton Wills-Eve

 

“Oh, Honestly! Sally!”


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Agree to Disagree.” <a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/agree-to-disagree/”>Agree to Disagree</a>                                 “Oh, Honestly! Sally!”

“You what? You think pop music is better than Mozart, Beethoven, Bach and Brahms? Are you off your head, or what?” Sally was adamant. She shook her mop of chestnut curls and scowled at me.

” And just how many singles has Brahms had at number one in the charts? Eh? And how many millions did Beethoven make when he released his fifth symphony?  Two dimes and a bit probably! It’s you who don’t know what you’re talking about.” I was getting very heated at this point because we were discussing which concert we should go to next weekend and she had  chosen ‘Glastonbury’ and I had chosen the Festival Hall. But I quickly thought I had stuck a dagger right into her argument when I said,

” And who is the greatest soloist on show this weekend? Seriously Sal. Do you really think Mick Jagger, poncing around the stage, lips a quiver, is a musician in the same league as Stephen Hough, the greatest living concert pianist, giving us the sublime sounds of one of the world’s greatest pieces of music when he plays Brahms’ first piano concerto?  For a start one’s music and the other’s a great entertainer who has a place on Olympus, granted, but in a slightly different category!”

We loved each other, believe it or not, but music was the great dividing point in  our lives. For a start I did not think that Sally’s sounds of enjoyment were even music, and she in turn thought that mine were just a pose put on to impress people who assumed that as I was steeped in the history and knowledge of classical music and musicians then I must be some sort of upper class superman. Then she aimed her dart. Good aim too!

“When Hough played Brahms’ opus 15 at the Proms, he added four bars at the end because he thought it sounded better! Better than Brahms? Who did he think he was? The critics were up in arms.” I fell back, staggered.

“How the hell did you know about that? And don’t say you listened to it because I wouldn’t believe you! It wasn’t that nerd Gregory, was it? ” My blood, like my challenged  passion, was up. I tried to continue with “All he knows about classical music is …”

“…Is completely irrelevant. I heard that prom, well saw a recording of it and the way he slammed his fist into the last bar was certainly not in the score. No, you have to accept the top performers in all branches of entertainment are those who make the audience sit up  and take notice. Rubinstein, Horowizt, Gould, Arrau how many more do you want me to concede? I know all about the really great performers, but were they the greatest musicians? No they weren’t and that’s why I prefer pop and rock to your favourites. Mine never pretended to be better than they were, but yours only cared about what over educated music critics in upper class  newspaper reviews thought of them!” It suddenly struck me that we were both talking unadulterated rubbish. So I tried to calm things down.

“Okay, Sal. We’ll toss for where we go this weekend. Heads it’s my music tails it’s your cacophony. Okay?” She nodded. I flipped a two pound coin high in the air, it landed heads up, and we were off to the Festival Hall. But as we made our way to the concert that weekend she did ask me one interesting question.

“What is your favourite piece of chamber music? Mine is Brahms’ opus eight, his first piano trio. Have you heard the Louvre recording by Istomin, Sterne and Rose? It must be on it’s own in that category surely?” I was stunned because I agreed. How on earth could I get my own back. Then I knew the only weapon I had.

“Yes, but looking at your type of noise, even I would have to agree that  ELP were the greatest progressive rock band of all time. I mean Keith Emerson on keyboard alone  was …..” she looked puzzled as she asked,

“Keith who?”

Anton Wills-Eve

My Week Link.


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Brain Power.”

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/brain-power/”>Brain Power</a>

wordpress has asked what I would do if I had 90% more brain.

My Week Link

Basically this prompt is asking me what would I do if I had 90% more brain. Well, let’s see. For a start I would immediately take out a life insurance policy for several million dollars or pounds or whatever currency I could get it in, because if I exerted myself that much more I’d be dead in a week. So What would I do with  90% more brain power in my last week?

For starters I would say an extra 90 % of the prayers I say every day, which take about 25 minutes a day on average. That would account for four hours approximately. Then I would do all I usually do in 20 hours nine times faster leaving me with 16 hours to do something extra. Now what would that be? I suppose sport would have to come into it so I’d watch another nine hours cricket,rugby,baseball, gridiron, golf, motor racing  and snooker. That would take care of my eyesight for a start, and would leave me with just seven hours .

Three hours would go on eating and enjoying drinking to keep up with the extra energy I’d need. So Now I have just four hours. I have a sneaking suspicion this would be spent sleeping as I’d be tired out. I’d make sure my dreams were 90% better than usual though, and boy is that saying something! And then at the end of the week I’d have to face God on Judgement day. What would He make of me I wonder? I think I know what He’d say though.

“That was a helluva waste of a week wasn’t it? But don’t worry. I still love you baby so I’ll tell St.Peter to let you in. But next time don’t take any notice of those awful prompts. You may not be so lucky!”

Anton Wills-Eve

Quo Vadis Sat Nav?


<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/connect-the-dots/”>Connect the Dots</a>Oh no! I’ve picked up the telephone directory. That means I have to write a wordpress  post which includes, and I quote ,  the first sentence my hand falls on! it turns out to be; “77 Blackwell Road, London.” Are these WordPress people for real? Have they ever seen Blackwell Road? It’s the backside of the world. And I mean world.

                                 Quo Vadis Sat Nav?

Jeremy Jones had been trying to come to terms with his sat nav for some five weeks, but he still could not make it work.

“Left, you idiot. Left, can’t you read?” Alexandra was getting madder by the minute. “Look at the bloody thing. What does it say for Saint Paul’s Cathedral? WEll?

“Oh, shit! How did you miss that bus? Have you got a driving licence?”

Jerry began to lose patience with his girl friend. “Belt up or I’ll hit the next one on purpose.  What do you expect if you keep making me look away from the road and at that stupid thing you’ve stuck on the dashboard? Eh? Just shut it!”

The girl curled up in a sudden mixture of rage and disappointment. “So that’s all you think of the birthday present I bought you, is it? I looked everywhere for something original, Jerry. I thought you’d love it with your mania for everything to do with motoring. I also wanted to get to the Cathedral in time for the lunchtime concert, but we’ll never make that now. How could you be so thick Jerry? And where on earth are we anyway?”

Jerry did not have a clue but he was not going to admit he was lost. “Only slightly out of our way, love, don’t worry, that ‘sat’ thing will tell you.What does it say for where we are? 77,Blackwell road,London? Where’s that? I suppose it must be here, wherever THAT is!  Still,  we may yet make the city centre in time. I’ll take the next right and then you can direct me using the sat nav. ” Alexandra was slightly mollified and smiled at Jerry. She was very fond of him and regretted her outburst. But not for long. The first right was straight into a ‘no entry’ one way road and Jerry drove his sports car straight into an oncoming truck that thought it owned the road. Which in this case it did. The somewhat rough spoken driver was not amused.

“‘Ere mate. Wot the bleedin ‘ell de yer fink yer doing? If yer must drive a poncey little car to impress yer bird , take a driving test first.” As he was also some six foot five tall and as wide as he was high, Jerry was reluctant to challenge him. 

“I’m  awfully sorry, my dear fellow, but I am a bit lost around these parts and didn’t know this was a one way street. If you give me your documents I’ll see that my insurance company pays for all the damage. I really am sorry.”

The truck driver was about to explain to Jerry that he didn’t bother with expensive extras like insurance, or car tax, or even a driving licence. He was about to ask for a very large cheque or Jerry would answer to ‘his friends’, when the noise of the affray attracted a passing police  car which sped to the scene. The truck driver went white. “Bloody ‘ell. The rozzers. Gawd, I’m orf! ”

But ‘off’ was the one thing he was not. The policemen recognised him and had handcuffed him before he could move. Then they bombarded him with unanswerable questions like, was it his truck? where had he stolen it? did he have a licence? etc etc  and the curtain came down on the farce with the law officers leading the truck driver away. But as they turned to make sure that Jerry and Alexandra would be able to find their way back to the main thoroughfare one of them turned to Alex and smiled,

“Oh, but you’ll be okay, Miss. I see you’ve got a sat nav. You’ll not have any bother finding your way with that, will you?” 

Anton Wills-Eve

 

As You Can Imagine


<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/daily-prompt-5/”>Image Search</a>

                                                             As You Can Imagine

I have never heard of Google images and cannot find them on my computer; well four desk top PCs, three lap tops, two smart phones, three tablets and my wife’s iPad. I therefore found today’s prompt beyond me. But perhaps not the spirit of it. As a student of iconography and all forms of image-evoking art, I decided to write about the whole concept of images and imagining within the limitations of abstract human thought processes.  As  you can imagine, by this medium so can you be an individual. Think about it. Imagine it, if you will. What do our cerebral images tell us that is actually of any value to us at all when we are not using our eyes? They may be shut in prayer or meditation, under anaesthetic or just asleep, but whatever the cause, I wish to discuss briefly the use of those images which crowd our minds when we are not using our sense of sight.

The most common  form of non-cognitive cerebral image perception is probably the nightmare. I so much prefer the French ‘cauchemare’, it somehow gets right inside you before confusing and frightening you. But the nightmare is invariably a sequence of tableaux which scare you. And this is not least because the pictures they paint across your subconscious are in vivid, screaming colours, yet include recognisable faces of people you know who are either suffering themselves or causing you pain. Many psychiatrists associate nightmares with guilt complexes, but this does not ring true for me. No, for me the nightmare is only the experience of horror or shock which we have stored up when awake and are incapable of suppressing when asleep. Lucky the man who can remember his dreams, they tell him so much about himself.

And on the role of all dreams in this discussion, how sweet it is to dream of love and conjure up in your dream the face of the person without whom you cannot envisage continuing living. For me it is the power of a long remembered smile, a ringlet wafting across her face, an infectious contortion of her entire corporal frame which invariably accompanies a happy giggle or the sensual delight of a playful tickle. When awake I have never seen all these images at one and the same time. But asleep, oh the excitement of them all being there at once! And I dream also of mysteries I can never solve but whose answers appear before me as I slumber. A saint’s face, a racing car cornering at two hundred and thirty miles an hour, my dog playing with the children while guarding them too. Their happy expressions result in such vibrant emotions being stirred up in my brain that I start to think I am awake. But all I am doing is wishing I was, because when I am they are never quite so strong. More real, perhaps, but nothing like as pleasantly engaging..

Now, I did question if  such images had any value because we are not using our eyes, well not controlling their use. I have to say I think they do. I have nearly died several times, helicopter crashes, bombs, gun shots have all pushed me a little closer to the abyss, but the worst moment was just before being put unconscious before a life threatening operation. I deliberately tried to focus on God as I went under, but it was so quick and my return to consciousness eleven hours later was so fast that I recall nothing that passed before my mind during that time. But the next time I fell asleep I dreamed I was dying and the images that sped across my uncomprehending brain were so awful I can never forget them, but neither can I describe them. You ask where was the value in that? Think, my friend. Is it not obvious? I can now talk about things I saw but never set eyes on, eternal mysteries and their solutions I contemplated without ever understanding them. How lucky I was, we all are,  that this type of iconograhic meditational experience is possible and happens to everyone. It is what makes us individuals. And, more importantly, we all enjoy our mental pictures, be they pleasant or terrifying, as you can imagine.

Anton Wills-Eve

Dear Jane


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Audience of One.”

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/audience-of-one/”>Audience of One</a>

Dear Jane,

Why did you walk away when I called out to you that last day at school? All I wanted to do was say goodbye. Was that too much to let me do, or did you not want to hear me say it? Did you really love me after all but just could not bring yourself to admit it? I mean what did I do apart from kiss Linda a little too passionately without realising you were watching? That and you finding me in flagrante delicto with Jennifer under our favourite tree in the orchard? 

Teenage moments of loss of will power, that’s all they were. Honestly. I know you wanted to have me all to yourself, well I understand that. But what I don’t understand is why you thought such occasional moments of carnal enjoyment meant any more to me than your affair with Tommy nine months ago. Now that was a really passionate  and prolonged surrender to your  craving for physical satisfaction. But I told you I understood, I forgave you. I promised I’d never bring the subject up again. But Jane, you’ve left me no choice. I was really hurt when you wouldn’t even look at me as you walked away. Have you any idea what the difference is between loving someone and just wanting to MAKE love ? Have you? It’s all the difference in the world. 

And what am I supposed to do now if I want to find you again and try to convince you of my undying romantic affection? We often shared a joke, both enjoyed the same music and films and even went to the same church. What stopped you wanting us to become a happy couple for the rest of our lives? Was it perhaps the child I had through Pat, who would not even allow me to see my own son believing I  had only ‘had it off for fun’, and  saying  I thought ‘having a baby might be a lark’? Do you remember that terrible court scene when I lost the right to even see my own flesh and blood? You were very sorry for me then and helped me. Why not now?

And what about that night I caught you hugging  Wendy behind the gym and you pretended it was just because you wanted to find out what it would be like! Eh? Really Jane, I’ve always given you the benefit of the doubt why couldn’t you give me a break? I know you don’t even read my blogs, Celia told me after she saw you last month. What other medium have I got to contact you through when you never answer the phone, reply to emails or allow me to visit your house? Please give me one more chance. It could work, really it could. Or have you found another Tommy or Frank and forgotten all about me?  Jane, at least put me out of my misery and tell me. Please. Just acknowledge this letter with a yes or a no and I’ll try to start a new life if I have to. I do love you. Carole.      

Anton Wills-Eve

Veni Creator Spiritus


I<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/bone-of-contention/”>Bone of Contention</a>n response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Bone of Contention.”

for the first time I have entered two posts in response to a prompt. One humerous and one serious. I enjoyed doing both. This is the serious one.

                 Veni Creator Spiritus.

Leaving aside spiritual love, faith, charity, being a nice person or an absolute sod, there exists for all of us the question did God create us and the world we inhabit or is the whole idea of a creator God just nonsense?

Well there is a straightforward, logical answer to this and everybody, whether they like it or not, has to accept it. The answer is that ‘pro’ or  ‘con’ neither idea can be proved  empirically either way.

If God created us and wants us for eternity, or if the whole spiritual ‘thing’ leaves us cold, the fact still remains that one of those two  possibilities MUST be true and one MUST be false. Given that this is so, how on earth, or heaven for that matter, can anybody take the chance of putting two fingers up to God and risk going to hell for ever and ever and ever?  Make the second choice and you’re a conceited nutter. But the other choice involves doing what God told us to do while on earth, a task usually beyond anyone to achieve. Even so, surely it is better to TRY to make something everlasting out of your life than throw the whole idea of eternity out of the window and risk everlasting unpleasantness?  I know which I’ve chosen, appalling example of everything I ought to be that I am.

Anton Wills-Eve

Not Tonight Josephine


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Bone of Contention.”

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/bone-of-contention/”>Bone of Contention</a>

couldn’t resist this chance to write another acrostic poem. It’s not so much about a bone of contention as a ‘Bone- Apart’.  🙂

Not Tonight Josephine

(an acrostic poem)

Napoleon was the ruler of the whole of France,

Oh to his tune how everybody did dance,

Thinking him without any doubt to be

The greatest soldier in the French army.

Only his pretty girlfriend, Josephine,

Now an empress but never a queen,

Invites him regularly for an evening of fun,

Generally after a day of playing with his gun.

Hence his reluctance, so we’ve been told,

To accept her advances, no matter how bold.

«Josephine, pas ce soir, cherie, je t’en prie

Oof, how much your loving takes it out of me!

Soldiering is such a very strenuous thing,

Even so, though, I do love our occasional fling.

Perhaps, Ma Petite, you’re so greatly to be desired,

How about tomorrow evening if I’m not too tired?

Indeed I adore you, Ma Cherie, mon amour.

Nothing turns me on like approaching your door.

Eh bien, Josephine, ce soir let’s try it encore!”.

Anton Wills-Eve

Patrick Fowlds’ Last Lesson


<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/call-me-ishmael/”>Call Me Ishmael</a>

 The first line of my favourite book is not in English, but that need not worry you. It’s very short.

                                                      Patrick Fowlds’ Last Lesson

“Conticuere omnes intentique ora tenebant.

“Johnson! Yes you, boy. Put that mobile phone away and pay attention to the text. This is a Latin class not a computer lesson. These words of Virgil were written two thousand years ago and deserve your full respect. The language may virtually be dead, but I still teach it because of the wonderful stories that have been written in it.!”

At this another fifteen year old interrupted, his questioning hand waving loftily above his head.

“Yes Mitchel?”

“Please Sir, how many years have you been teaching Latin, Sir?” Patrick Fowlds could see genuine interest in the eyes of the pupil so answered him honestly.

“Since I was twenty two.That is forty four years ago and I shall be retiring at the end of this year. I only hope my subject does not retire with me. It is full of such super tales.”

The class actually began to feel a little sorry for their teacher, so often the butt of schoolboy humour  and even laughed at when his laboured jokes completely misfired. He greatly envied those popular masters who also taught cricket and football and were the heroes of their students. In recent years he also had to compete in the popularity stakes  with young female teachers who had even more enticing ways to attract their charges. The staff in general tolerated rather than encouraged Patrick to join in their amusements, but it is probably true to say that hardly anyone would miss him when he left.

How many years had he told Mitchel? Was it really forty four? Well at least he had spent those years in the company he liked more than anything else – his classics books. He cast a glance round the form room before continuing. It was odd, he felt a bit dizzy and his tie was tighter than usual under his collar. He tried to continue the lesson but had to ask,

“Sims! Could you open that window by you please? It’s getting very stuffy here.” The boys watched transfixed as Mr. Fowlds suddenly clapped a hand to his chest and almost shouted out the first line of second book of The Aeneid again. “Conticuere omnes, intentique ora tenebant!” Then he crumpled in a heap on the floor of the dais in front of the blackboard. All twenty three boys rushed to his aid, one of them dialing for an ambulance on his cell phone. Harper tried to give him some cola which he kept in his desk, then just before another pupil suggested trying to resuscitate him, Mitchel asked the dying man, out of sympathy more than interest,

“Tell us, Sir. That line you’ve just read, what does it mean, Sir?” And with his last breath he told them,

“It says…it means ..’all gathered round him eagerly waiting to hear the story unfold.” But the boys never heard the story;not how the Greeks entered the city via a Trojan Horse,nor Cassandra’s prophecy, or Achilles dying with an arrow in his heel, the towers of Illium crashing down and killing king Priam. They knew nothing of Helen watching as her lover Paris was killed, or Laocoon being crushed to death by the sea serpent for foretelling his nation’s doom and above all Aeneas’ flight through secret passages and tunnels to escape and fulfill his life’s mission, to sail the world as it was then known, even if it meant deceiving Queen Dido, and finally establishing ‘the city of the seven hills’ that was to become the Empire of Rome.

No, Patrick Fowlds took the greatest story ever written to his grave with him. But that evening after school, Mitchel stopped off in the school library and took out an English translation of the book. He felt he owed the old man that much.

Anton Wills-Eve

Ginny’s Journey


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “In Good Faith.”

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/in-good-faith/”>In Good Faith</a>

Ginny’s Journey

She was one of 14 children, born in the decades between the wars when families of  Catholic Irish origin in Britain were still praying for the conversion of England, and backing their prayers with a big contribution to the number of Catholics per capita. She grew  up holy, pretty and modest. A model little girl who actually loved the stories of God that her family told her every night. She also loved the atmosphere of the Latin-Mass congregation who understood little of what they heard or said but still very obviously loved each other. She really enjoyed going up to receive Communion and then battling the petty sins of puberty and the first temptations of the teenage flesh as she met a boy she really loved. But Ginny would never  commit a sin of impurity. You see, she did not want to go to hell. She did not fear hell fire, no  it was just that her favourite saint would not be there. 

She knew Saint Rita had led a difficult life in Mediaeval Italy but  ended it by fulfilling her religious vocation and becoming a nun against all the odds. Ginny knew her as the patron saint of hopeless causes  and her aim in life was to try to help really hard  done by people herself. But how could she know, well she couldn’t, that the person who was to be most sorely tormented was she herself. She was about to marry her childhood sweetheart when she was twenty but a month before the wedding he was killed in a plane crash. She put her whole heart into Saint Rita’s keeping, weeping and begging to be kept true to her Faith despite her awful loss.

Two years later she met a young man who she did not love romantically so much as want to help. He had not long recovered from a mental breakdown and she wanted to lead him back to a normal life. They married and he recovered very well under her prayers and encouragement. She was so glad for them both. But it was not he who was to suffer. Their first child was still born, their second was seriously mentally retarded and their third both deaf and dumb. But still Ginny hung onto the hem of Saint Rita’s habit and begged her to keep her close to God. Her truly loving and rather sweet devotion was known only to herself, but worse was to come. He husband had a relapse under the strain of his children’s suffering and took his own life when he was forty and Ginny was only thirty seven. In those days many Christians believed that all suicides were unforgiveable and went straight to hell and the thought of this nearly drove Ginny mad herself. But from somewhere deep down, in the depths of her soul she dragged up the last vestiges of Faith and Hope that she could find and begged Saint Rita to help her live through her purgatory on earth because she was really getting close to losing God altogether. The final crisis came a few weeks after her forty fifth birthday in 1979 when both her parents died of very painful  forms of cancer within a couple of weeks of each other. The sacred thread holding Ginny to God snapped and she wandered away, lost and broken as she cursed everything she had ever held dear. Never would she pray for help or love again.

It was some fifteen years after that that she was struck down with cancer herself. Friendless, horribly depressed, unable to face her deformed offspring and abandoned by her family, she wandered into my church and asked me if I would hear what she believed would be her last confession. There was almost nobody in the church that day and she let the full story of the sorrow that was her time on earth just pour out of her.

“Father, I gave up God because he gave up me. But I’ve been told I shall be dead very soon. Just in case, just if perhaps I’m wrong, please forgive me and ask God to as well. That is if He  exists at all.” I attended her funeral very soon after that and as I was walking away from the graveside, where less than a handful of mourners had bothered to remember her, I felt a hand on my shoulder and a beautiful Italian voice whisper to me,

“Grazzie, father. I never let go of anyone who loves me as she did.”

Anton Wills-Eve

Lucy’s Last Chance


<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/i-got-skills/”>I Got Skills</a>

                                                                   Lucy’s Last Chance

Ever since the age of six little Lucy Browning had been mad on playing the piano. Her outstanding skill was noticed at a very early stage. But sadly many people experience hard knocks in life and few find anything more of a burden than having a speech impediment. Little Lucy was such girl, her stammer disrupting everything she wanted to do from her earliest days in infants school. But she was lucky in having a very loving family who did everything they could to help her.

Her elder brother Henry, who was nineteen when she celebrated her fifteenth birthday, regularly lost his temper with people who made fun of his sister and was very worried how she was going to manage when he went to university the following September. However, she assured him she had enough friends to stop her being badly bullied.

The best of these friends was Jenny Williams, an attractive girl with long blond hair who genuinely enjoyed Lucy’s company and, although complete opposites, they got on really well together. “Well, Luce, this is the year that makes or breaks us. I’ve got to get really good GCSE exam grades in science next summer if I’m to get to a top university. But I expect you’ve already written in ‘one hundred per cent’ next to music,” and she smiled and laughed at the same time.

Lucy grinned back, her straight, brown hair adding little to her understandably shy personality. “T-t-true J-J-Jen, but that’s about a-a-all! Languages are a n-n-nightm-m-mare. I like science b-b-but school says b-b-cause I c-c-can’t say the w-w-words easily in ch-ch-chemistry and phyics, I can’t do them. And my wr-wr-written work is quite good. It’s silly!” Jenny agreed wholeheartedly but made no comment as they went into class for the first lesson of the autumn term that September.

At home Lucy’s parents, though, were more worried than Henry. They knew their little daughter was a fighter even if she was no academic genius, so they greatly encouraged her love of music. They saved all the money they could afford to engage a top class piano teacher for her. She had had two one hour lessons every week for nearly nine years when the GCSE year started. She had already won several junior prizes for her playing, including one quite prestigious piano competition for under twelves when she was only ten. Indeed, her teacher was so pleased with her that she predicted a possible outstanding future for her as a concert pianist.

The school had spent five years trying to cure or eradicate Lucy’s impediment, though with very little success. Her teachers knew how difficult life was for her, but in a school of fourteen hundred pupils aged eleven years or older there was little they could do in already over crowded classes. Her form mistress, Miss Paget, who was keen on getting the best overall average grades for her class out of the four forms that year, took Lucy aside to explain to her,

“Lucy you must realise how difficult it’s going to be for you to get good grades in most of your subjects and you will fail French and Spanish completely because you could never pass the conversation modules. We thought if you gave up half your subjects this year and concentrated on music and four other exams you could stay behind for twelve months and do the rest next year. You are a very skillful pianist so that will always be a back up for you. What do you think?”

What Lucy thought she was not able to say to the bullying woman be-littling, her because what she thought was, ‘You mean you want your average grades to be as high as possible and don’t care about my feelings at all’. What she managed to say out loud was, “M-m-my parents w-w-want me to do ten s-s-subjects, so I w-w-will! Also I w-w-want to stay with m-m-my f-f-friends.” Miss Paget was furious.

“Very well,” she retorted, “I shall recommend to the school that you only sit four exams, including music, and your parents will have to pay the entrance fee for the others.This will be doubled as I am not recommending them.”

When Lucy told her mother this after school that day the poor girl got a terrible shock. Her mother had to say, “Darling we didn’t want to worry you in such an important year, but daddy’s firm has had a lot of financial problems recently and had to lay off several of the staff, so he took a drop in salary in order to help out. If we have to pay so much for your exam fees we’ll have to cut your piano lessons to the occasional one now and then, not two a week. I am dreadfully sorry.”

Lucy was almost in tears but held them back until she went up to her room to do her homework and cried her heart out. However, beneath her emotional upheaval she felt a rising determination not to give in and still went to her next lesson as her parents had already paid for the rest of that month’s piano tuition. The following evening she told her piano teacher, Miss Marshall, she had some bad news. The teacher could see Lucy was upset and thought it was the usual malicious treatment she often experienced. But Lucy’s news was a bombshell.

“M-m-m-iss M-m-marshall, I shall have t-t-to give up m-m-my lessons b-b-because my f-father can’t afford t-t-them any m-m-more.” The teacher was stunned. Lucy was one of the two best fifteen year old pupils she had ever had and she was appalled at the thought of losing her. She knew Lucy was going through an awfully difficult time and tried to cheer her up. 

“Look you’re one of my top pupils and you don’t even have a decent piano at home so can only practice at school when the music master let’s you. But I think that if I applied to the regional music society board I might be able to get you a scholarship to carry on studying with me. I’ll see what I can do. I was hoping to enter you and John Franklin for the regional musician of the year competition, with preliminary rounds each month to the end of April and the final in July. I really think you have a chance of winning the under eighteens class.

“This carries with it a scholarship for the whole of the cost of your studies through to the end of four years at a leading university or

music academy. You would need a top grade in your GCSE music exam in the summer, but I know you could get that already! You would also need the minimum grades in seven other subjects at least for a university to take you, and three A levels as well, but I hope you can manage that.”

Lucy could not believe her ears. “ M-m-m-miss if you c-c-an get m-m-me a scholarship with y-y-you, I th-th-think, I KNOW I can!” They smiled at each other as the previous pupil was finishing his practice and got up from the piano to leave. Miss Marshall introduced them. He smiled at Lucy and she blushed in confusion. Boys usually laughed at her and she did not know how to respond. He held out his hand when Miss Marshall introduced them and she shook it timidly.

“Miss Marshall tells me you’re very good.” Then he waved goodbye and added, “Hope to see you again Lucy.” She was too shy to speak, smiling as she opened her music case. He stayed back, out of sight, for ten minutes and could not believe how well Lucy played.

The following week, it was the third in September, Miss Marshall gave her the most wonderful news. She had told the music board of Lucy’s problems and how extremely good she was, so they had given her a bursary to have free lessons twice a week with Miss Marshall until the end of the summer term. Lucy and her parents were thrilled and the young girl could not wait to tell her form mistress.

“S-s-so you see, M-m-miss Paget, I w-w-will work r-r-eally hard all year t-t-to get the g-g-grades I need!” Miss Paget was not very encouraging but did at least tell Lucy she was glad she had a goal to aim at that might also get her better exam results.

And so it was, eight months later, that a very cheerful Lucy could think of nothing else but the music finals that sunny Monday of the last week of the summer term. They were scheduled for the Friday and she was filled with excitement at the prospect of a really important achievement for the first time in her very frustrating life.

Most of her friends had concentrated on working hard at their GCSE exams hoping for good enough grades to go on to the universities they wanted. The exams finished half way through that week but Lucy’s academic ability had never been better than average. She knew her chances of university in two years time were virtually nil without her piano playing, which was now recognised as outstanding for her age. Little did she know but several top musicians who had judged the earlier rounds were already talking about her as she had come first or second in every round, good enough to progress each month. Even the school’s headmaster proudly booked a seat in the hall for the finals.

The GCSE exams had been very difficult but she had finished them all and had a piece of luck with her French and Spanish.The school had told the conversation examiners about Lucy’s serious speech problems and they agreed to mark her on what she knew, understood and was obviously trying to say; not on her accent or speed of reply. Both the French and Spanish examiners told her she had done well enough to get an overall pass if her written papers were also up to the standard needed. This encouraged her enormously as had her steady progress through the music competition.

That lovely summer morning her best friend Jenny called to her across the hot school playground as they went back into class after morning break. “Hi Luce, Only a few days to go until the last round. Well you’ve made it to the last six for the whole of the region, so go for it girl!” Jenny knew how much her friend needed encouraging.

Lucy looked at her extremely pretty companion, who attracted most of the boys in their year, but there was no envy in Lucy’s reply. Quite the opposite.

“Th-th-thanks J-J-Jen. J-j-just a few b-b-butterflies,” she smiled always feeling more hopeful when Jenny was with her. So that lunch break as Jenny was chatting to Geoff, her current boyfriend, she spotted Lucy and kindly drew her into the conversation saying to him, “Lucy is in the finals of the regional music competition at the City Theatre this Friday and is very excited. She’s an outstandingly good pianist and everyone says she has a really good chance.”

To both girls surprise the tall, popular boy showed immediate interest. “Are you one of the six finalists Lucy? Wow! You must be incredibly good. A friend of mine at Redcourt school is also one of the last six, but he’ll take some beating Luce.”

Lucy was so pleased at Geoff’s interest she could not resist asking, “R-r-really Geoff. What’s h-h-his name?” Geoff was quick to add to his first remarks about his friend. “Oh  it’s John Franklin. But his big advantage is that he studies under Emily Marshall, one of the best teachers in the county. John thinks she’s terrific.” Lucy was now even more surprised.   

“G-G-eoff, she’s m-m-my teacher too!” At this news Jenny joined in with a very upbeat comment. “Well, Luce, if you know them both there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be just as good as he is, or even better. Hey, you aren’t hiding an Adonis from us are you?”  She laughed as she asked Geoff, “Is he good looking?” 

At this poor little Lucy went crimson and Geoff could see Jenny had unintentionally hit on a very soft spot in Lucy’s teenage heart. He felt a bit sorry for her. “Well, yes, he is quite good looking, Jen, but Lucy probably only sees him on and off for lessons, eh Luce?”

“Y-y-yes G-G-Geoff, though he d-d-does smile at me and s-s-seems very nice. B-b-but he’s n-n-n-not my b-b-boyfriend or anything l-l-like that.” Lucy was almost embarrassed at having to say this.

Jenny patted her friend on the shoulder and said, “Well, stop wasting time, Luce, and try to get to know him better.”

This only made poor Lucy more confused. However, Geoff cheered up both girls by looking at Jenny and saying, with a wink that Lucy could not see, “We were wondering what to do this Friday, weren’t we Jen? Why don’t we go and watch them both?” Jenny agreed at once and Lucy could hardly believe that two of her school friends wanted to listen to her playing in the

Friday night finally came round, but oddly Lucy’s thoughts for much of the week were also on one of her competitor. All year she had occasionally thought of him until Geoff’s remarks made her realise how much she had grown to like John. As the final got nearer she almost did not want him to lose, but deep down knew how much she wanted the prize, and everything that would follow from it, very definitely for herself.

In the twenty minute recitals each musician had to play a five minute compulsory piece set by the judges and two more pieces of music of their own choice. John and Lucy were the only two pianists to reach the last stage. John was the second person to perform after a female violinist. He was followed by a clarinet player and then There was a thirty minute interval during which Geoff and Jenny had to agree that John was by far the best of the first three musicians so far, when they overheard an extraordinary conversation between two women sitting behind them.

“Margery, your son’s piano playing was really outstanding. Emily Marshall teaches him doesn’t she?”

At this the lady called Margery was about to speak when Geoff muttered to Jenny, “Heavens! It’s John’s mother behind us.” And John’s mother replied to her friend,

“Thank you. Yes, and he’s also a very thoughtful boy. John found out about one of Emily’s pupils, whom he knows slightly and who is very good indeed, but who could not afford to go on paying for lessons; do you know what he did Dorothy? He asked Adrian, you’ve met my husband haven’t you? I thought so, anyway he asked his father to sponsor her. Adrian was so touched by John’s concern for the poor girl that he arranged the sponsorship with Emily and paid all her fees for the rest of the school year. Emily assured him his money would not be wasted as she was a very promising pupil.”

Jenny and Geoff just looked at each other and gasped as they settled down for the second half. The percussionist was good but the second violinist was a young boy who really was sensational. After he had given a wonderful interpretation of a Paganini caprice everyone seemed certain he would win. Finally a petrified and shy Lucy took the stage. She began with the compulsory Chopin study set by the panel and then the audience sat up as she gave a flawless performance of a technically very difficult prelude by Rachmaninov. But Lucy had always known that to win she had to finish with something nobody would expect from a sixteen year old. 

She took the risk of her life with Liszt’s sixth Hungarian rhapsody which few people in the audience thought a sixteen year old girl could physically manage at all, let alone play really brilliantly. As she almost collapsed with exhaustion at the end of the last bar the whole theatre rose to their feet applauding and in no doubt who had won the competition.

As the clapping rose to a crescendo Geoff turned round to speak to Mrs. Franklin.She saw him first. “Oh, Geoffrey, I didn’t see you there. Wasn’t that little girl amazing?” Geoff grinned broadly as he replied,

“Not nearly as amazing as your really kind hearted son, Mrs. Franklin. She’s the ‘poor little girl’ who John so very kindly asked his father to sponsor for her tuition fees. But don’t worry, Jenny and I won’t tell anyone.” The friend, Dorothy, looked delighted at Geoff’s news but, for the first time in her life, Margery Franklin was left open mouthed and speechless.

Finally, to make her night complete, Lucy stood on the stage holding her bouquet and winner’s scroll while also tightly clutching the certificate to pay all her music education expenses for the next six years. And her heart missed a beat as John turned and kissed her on each cheek whispering, “Well done Lucy. You really were terrific! I do hope this means we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other from now on.”

Anton Wills-Eve

My lady at twilight


<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/oasis/”>Oasis</a&gt;

The oasis to which my ageing mind flees when threatened or depressed.

My lady at twilight

My vision’s crepuscular world is now part lit
That grey garden, my mind, thrice-fold twilit.
Leaving me lost in a twilight world of my own,
By my parents’ thrice-lit seeds was it sown.

Those seeds of life blossomed in May
A different bright memory each day.
From all of them their flowers grew taller
As their roots, my brain, shrank ever smaller.

So now with only my past life and my sighs,
Through the dim twilight dream of my eyes,
All my straining vision can see is part shady.
Save the face of my fairest, sweet lady.

Anton Wills-Eve

The Night my Mother met a Saint in her Pyjamas.


<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/daily-prompt-3/”>For Posterity</a>

in reply to  “which post would I most like to be remembered by.”

The date is forever engraved in my memory. It was the 18th of October 1961 and our family was enjoying probably the best holiday we ever had together. My father had spent the summer covering the Franco-Algerian peace talks in Evian on the banks of Lake Geneva, or Lac Leman as the French call it, and he and mum deserved their three week break. My sister managed to bunk off university in London for a few weeks and I did the same from the Sorbonne in Paris. Mum was terminally ill and we all knew it could well be the last time the four of us would get a proper vacation together. We planned a drive down to Rome, via Switzerland, Milan and Florence and were returning, first south to Positano for a week’s stay and returning via Pompeii and up the Mediterranean coast to take in Pisa, Genoa, Monaco,  Nice and the Rhone valley. Five days were to be spent in the Italian capital. The third of these was the most memorable day in my life.

Although an Australian, dad was the chief correspondent in Paris of a major American news organisation and my mother was a retired entertainer of considerable fame in Britain whose health had cut short her career when she was thirty five, just after the start of the second world  war. Indeed my birth in 1942 was the last normal act on her part in her life. Being born and brought up a staunch Catholic in Glasgow in Scotland she made sure that my sister and I were educated at the best Catholic schools we could be. My agnostic father always kept his promise to bring us up as Catholics, making sure we never missed Mass on Sundays, but then as often as possible none of us missed a couple of hours at our local pub on a Sunday lunch time either. Mum was often bed ridden and had to spend her drinking hours with friends at home in our thirty seven room mansion near Richmond Park. You can see we were a rather unusual quartet. But the greatest thing about my formative years was that all the family had terrific senses of humour and, I can honestly say, really loved each other.

I grew up a Catholic who was wonderfully close to their  Faith and served Mass as often as I could. I quite shocked the monks at the Abbey which ran our school when I turned up at the sixth form ball in 1959, I would have been seventeen I suppose, with Teresa, the most stunningly beautiful girl, on my arm. She is still one of my closest friends although we were never sweethearts, but she did enough to dispel the certainty amongst many of the school staff that I was going to become a priest. Indeed she singled out the headmaster, she knew him because her brother was at the school, and said to him in a little louder voice than was necessary, “Yes, Father, Anton really loves God more than any boy I have met. But boy, Father, does he also love me. I think God’s got a battle on his hands with us!”

My mother was told of this story a few days later and phoned Teresa to thank her.  It was with this type of background, both religious and public, that the four of us set out for Italy in the autumn of 1961. When we drove off from the family home on the Ile Saint Louis in Paris we were all determined to have a really good time. I was nineteen and a half and my sister not quite twenty one. The drive down was wonderful as we went both over and under various Alps, attended a concert at La Scala in Milan and swooned at just about everything we saw in Florence. But my sister and I could see the journey was starting to take its toll on mum. She had seriously advanced emphysema and used an inhaler most of the day. As the weather became hotter and the air less pleasant she began to find walking any distance at all very difficult. Indeed she had to miss the meal we had out on the first night in Rome with dad’s counter part there an American journalist who had known him for several years in London. He was a Catholic and told us that he had been keeping a really super surprise up his sleeve for us all. He turned to dad during the meal and said,

“Paul, you’ll all love this. Did you know that in two days it is the fiftieth anniversary of the overseas press club in the Vatican and a very select number of correspondents have been invited to meet Pope John and have an informal audience with him that evening? They desperately wanted a Catholic family to be part of this and I told the Bishop organising the audience that you, as an Australian journalist of note, your two English Catholic children and your well known Scottish Catholic wife were all in town and thanks to your job could represent the international media family. What do you think?”

In all honesty I thought he was joking. He knew how I would react and was quite right. We all said yes but asked if we could not tell anyone about mum because there was no way she would want to miss what would be one of the greatest days of her life. We were right. She said she would go if it killed her and the three of us genuinely feared that it could.  As the time to leave the hotel got nearer mum was getting worse, She donned a black evening coat and black lace veil saying she could hide her inhaler up her sleeve and not be seen as she used it. My sister also wore a black head scarf but refused to cover her face, not that anyone asked her to. Dad just wore a grey suit. Then came the real penance of the night.

Our taxi dropped us by the papal gate entrance to the Vatican palace just by the colonnade, but we were told we had to walk up to the ante room where the Holy Father was receiving the foreign press. Mum had got ready in extremely quick time and we were only concerned in helping her manage the stairs to the small hall and room where we were invited to wait for Pope John to arrive. How mum made it I will never know, but she did. Then came the high point of the evening, indeed for me, of my life.

A jovial, smiling octogenarian literally beamed his way into the room and the fifty or so papal guests were astounded at the informality and good fun that pervaded the whole forty five minutes we were with Pope John. But just as he was scheduled to leave the Holy Father cast all four of us into a state of almost disbelieving happiness. He did the most wonderful thing. Speaking in fluent French he asked if he could meet Paul, Sarah, Michele and Anton the Catholic family from all round the world who had come to see him. He approached us and in a few brief words told us all how glad he was to meet us. HE was glad to meet US! If he only knew. As he blessed us and let us kiss his ring I cast a glance at mum, the tears streaming down her face, and realised she would have climbed Mount Everest to go through that moment in her life.

Then came a lovely scene of real humour. The apostolic delegate to the media asked if any of us needed the lifts as the stairs often proved too much for elderly or sick people. Mum turned to dad and my sister and me and said, “It may have half killed me but I’m glad I walked. It was worth it just to be able to say that I had met a Saint in my pyjamas. I was so ill I didn’t have time to dress tonight, that’s all I’m wearing under this coat.”

Dad and Michele laughed and she said, “Mum you mean the Pope, not a saint.” All mum replied was,

“I know what I said.” And the proof that she did is that on the 27th of April last year, on the 108th anniversary of mum’s birth, Pope Francis Canonized Pope John XXIII, officially raising him to the highest dignity possible for a human being to attain. I will never know how mum knew!

Anton Wills-Eve

It’s all in the voice.


<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/daring-do/”>Daring Do</a>

in response to a prompt to write a rescue story.

 

It was late in April 1970 when, on a balmy summer’s evening in a jungle clearing in Cambodia , Mike and I sat down to enjoy a bottle of really good Australian wine. Somehow being a war correspondent did not really matter much to either of us. We were still alive  and grateful to be. Our salaries were mounting up at a great rate in bank accounts back home, and everything in  the garden was lovely.

“What do you miss most about not being back in Oz, Mikey?” I asked him as I downed my second glass. His reply was instant.

“Easy mate. Cricket. More than a year without seeing a single ball bowled or hit. It’s getting depressing.” Just how depressing he demonstrated by finishing his third glass and starting to open a second bottle. “Gee, life’s hard in this place. Only enough wine for six glasses each and then we have to  get back to Pnom Penh to stock up again. How have you put up with it for so long ?” I smiled and explained that the seven years I spent in Paris from 1960 had made it possible for me to add a bottle of Pernod a day to my diet and this helped to create an unreal world in which nothing scared me any more.

I reckoned my body could take another couple of years of this without hinting I might be making myself ill. I was still only twenty eight and had the constitution of a water buffalo. I had been shot twice, in the lower leg and the upper arm, been blown up three times, survived a helicopter crash and, luckiest of all, actually caught a knife just as it was about to enter my rib cage. I swear I could never have done that sober. But  booze sharpened rather than slowed down my reactions. Life was not that bad as Mike said. We were really quite lucky but agreed that if we missed one thing  more than anything else it was female companionship. He put it very well when he mused,

“You know, fellah, it’s just not worth the risk of serious illness buying sex in the local knocking shops. So what else is there? I hope my Sheila back home will still love me when I return, but her letters are arriving much less frequently and if I lose her I’ll have to start looking around all over again. Gee, life can be a pig at times. What a pain to look forward to!”

I loved listening to his raw but realistic view of life. But when the second bottle ran out we got up and returned to our saloon car which we had hired at vast expense, to our newspapers not ourselves,  and started to drive back to the Cambodian capital. It was the second bullet that made us flinch. It went through the windscreen and  my delightful companion remarked, “I can’t even see if the bastard is on their side or the Americans.” He was Australian but did not support his country’s stance in the war. Like me he thought wars were just shows put on by world powers to make young journalists like us rich and nothing else. At least we could not think up a better reason for starting one.

The third and fourth bullets were more subtly aimed and punctured the two back tyres. This really infuriated Mike as he stopped the car, leaped out and threw the empty wine bottles in the direction of the shots. “Wish there was some petrol in them”, he shouted. But as a salvo of shots then sent us both diving for cover in the bushes by the roadside I began to wonder if we had drunk a bit too much or maybe the soldiers were actually trying to hit us. That is not something a journalist ever thinks in a war zone. Bullets are things shot by other people at other groups of people, but never at the press. Heavens, without us there would be no reason to have a war because nobody would ever hear about it. No question about it, bullets were never aimed at journalists.

That is, until they were. Three large American riflemen suddenly appeared before us and were definitely aiming at us. I could hardly believe it. Two troopers and a sergeant. Who the hell did they think they were? I was not having this. So I got to my  feet, very obviously white skinned, very obviously casually dressed in a dark blue beach shirt and white slacks, and with no arms of any sort any where near me. I think what froze those gunmen into stunned, rigid silence was when I spoke.”Look, I say you chaps. Don’t you think all this is a bit thick. Eh?What? Here are we, a Colonel and a Lieutenant Colonel in your army, observing this fascinating punch up between you three and the rest of Asia, and all you can do is pick on two fellows who are very obviously on your side. Do you think you could put your weapons down, change the back wheels on our motor car, and speed us on our way. Please?”

My English Public school accent astounded even Mike who had never heard me talk like that before. And as we drove away, waving gratefully to our saviours, I explained. “Well on my first assignment after university in Paris, and six years in all in France, I pulled the same stunt in fluent Parisian slang to a bunch of foreign legionaries in Algeria. And as you can see I am still here!”

Anton Wills-Eve

Happy New Year


Just a short, yet no less sincere, Happy New Year to all my friends and followers on WordPress for 2015. I am changing the order of my current plan for blogs  for the rest of 2015, so don’t be surprised if things look a bit disjointed and some posts are missing. Everything will return in a new format very soon and continue on from there.

God Bless to everyone.

Anton.

Over The Moon


To Be Resolved

The whole family were over the moon when I got the letter telling me I had been offered a place at Oxford University to read Mediaeval history. It was late December 1959 and I would be starting the following September. I also knew I would be immersing myself for at least four years in my passion for Ecclesiastical History, hopefully to the level of MA by the summer of 1964. I had won an open exhibition scholarship, and it was the closest thing I could imagine to being paid to spend all my time just doing what I loved best. At the end of that December I made a new year’s resolution to work diligently and watch my finances sensibly so that within ten years time I would be settled into the life I wanted and well enough off to enjoy it to the full. By then, who knows, I might even be married with a family. But each year, until December the thirty first nineteen sixty nine, I was going to review how well I was doing on my marathon resolution.

But our world holds many twists of fate for us and it is ironic that we never expect the really important ones. In March 1960 I was not expecting my father to be hastily posted to South Africa to sort out his company’s affairs as two senior members of the staff had managed to lose control of their emotions and get themselves jailed following the Sharpeville race riot shootings. The company was ordered to stop working there but Dad did a terrific job smoothing ruffled feathers, indeed so successfully that just after returning to London in May he was told he had been appointed head of the company for Continental Europe. He would be taking up his post in mid-August and would be based in Paris for at least five years, probably longer. As with my news from Oxford, the family was once more over the moon.

Have you ever seen what is on the other side of the moon? Let me tell you. It is that world in which we never even allow our minds to wander, asleep or awake. It is, above all, a world of unimagined surprises which invariably become our strongest memories in later years. I was about to receive my first adult one.

You see our family had a problem. There were just the five of us. Dad, Mum, who was chronically and seriously ill, my sister, fifteen months my senior and the best friend I had ever had, and my only surviving grandmother. My sister and I virtually ran the household as we got older because mum was bed ridden. Add to this the fact that my ageing grandmother was sixty four when I was born and, though she did what she could to help, as you can imagine by the time I was eighteen it was not much. Dad of course had to earn enough money to make sure my sister and I were really well educated and to provide the medical extras that my mother needed. He made an incredible number of sacrifices to ensure that all of us led the life he wanted us to enjoy. So in the summer of 1960, for the first time in our lives, when he was forty six and I eighteen, he had to ask me an enormous favour.

“Edward, look this isn’t easy, but I have to see if you can help me sort out a family problem. You know we are off to France next month and you will be going to Oxford in the Autumn, well I don’t know what to do about mum. Your sister is already a year into her university course at Cambridge and we cannot interrupt that, but is there any way you could change your place at Oxford for one at University in Paris? It would make all the difference in looking after mum whenever you could if you had enough time for your studies as well.” I reeled, and honestly did not know what to answer. Everything I had wanted and worked for during the last five years had been achieved and now, at the eleventh hour, it was being snatched away. I just prayed it did not show in my face. I am sure Dad would never have asked if he had known how much Oxford meant to me, but I assumed he did not and automatically I said I would try to find out exactly what would be involved if such a change could be arranged. But most importantly I told him not to worry about mum being properly cared for. I assured him that would always come top of my priorities.

As my sister, Helen, was at home at the time I told her what Dad had asked me and she hit the roof. “You’re joking! Edward he wouldn’t ask that of anyone, and certainly not you!”

“Oh be fair, Helen. With the amount of work he does and the worries we all pile on him he probably hasn’t a clue what Oxford means to me. How could he? My only problem is that I cannot see how I could get my French up to the standard needed to do a degree in Paris when I have never studied seriously in the language. But I’ll ask my history master. He got an MA at Cambridge in History, so he must know if something can be worked out. I do hope it can, because Dad has done so much for all of us this quite enormous promotion for him is something he really deserves. We could never live with ourselves, well I certainly couldn’t, if he turned it down because of me.”

She smiled and patted me on the shoulder. Of course she saw the point and wished it was her decision to take. “Edward, I am going for a degree in history of art and only because I enjoy it, but with you it could be your whole life. I know how much you want to follow up your research into the really esoterically abstruse minutiae of mediaeval church life, and above all the hagiography that would go with it. I also know that there are few scholars of your age around who know even half as much about the subject as you do. But have you thought that the Sorbonne University might be just as useful a place to follow your subject as any British university? I can see the language problem though.” We left it there and, as it was the last week of term and of the school year, I knew the senior staff would all be around for a few more days yet.

The school’s reaction was one of shock and disbelief. We usually got four or five Oxford or Cambridge places a year, but the kudos of one was very important to the school’s reputation and the news that I might not take up my place was not well received. After four days of hectic telephone conversations and indulgence in the ‘old pals network’ of academic friends, the best solution that could be worked out for me was to do an extra first year at the Sorbonne, which was not marked academically, although I would have to study the full course from the start again in my first year. This would mean having to spend an extra first year to bring me up to the required level of academic French, and four years in total for my LèsL, the equivalent of a BA in France. However, it was also dependent on the university in Paris accepting me at an interview and this was arranged for the last week in August. But Oxford was very understanding about my circumstances and even held my place open for me until the beginning of September.

Well, to cut a long story short I just scraped through the interview and was accepted at the Sorbonne. My father’s company also gave him an increase in salary because they considered me as still being a dependent child and student, so we were not hit as badly financially as we might have been. The following five years passed really quite enjoyably with the family living in a flat on the Ile. Saint Louis, behind Notre Dame, and within a very short walk of the university which also helped me. I made quite a few friends from lots of different countries, in particular Francesca, a very pretty girl from Pisa in Italy who became a genuinely important part of my life from the age of nineteen. Then, by the August of 1964, shortly after I had gained my degree, she was very badly hurt in a car crash. Helen had joined us the previous year to work in a French art gallery after getting her degree and she could see how badly I was hit by the news of Francesca’s accident. She spent extra time looking after Mum while I took the rest of the summer break in Pisa with Francesca and her family, helping to cheer her up and suddenly realising for the first time in my life that I was quite hopelessly in love. But it was not the ‘over the moon’ moment it should have been.

Her family had a lovely house in Tuscany and it was a treat looking after her. But there is a limit to how much one can do for a girl, however beautiful and encased forever in one’s heart, when she has to be pushed everywhere in a wheelchair and can only take a few steps on crutches, and that on a good day. After four years at university I was at a loss what to do for a career. I had always thought that had I gone to Oxford I would just have stayed there if I could, but there was no way I wanted to live forever in France. The one thing about being really good at a subject as unusual as hagiography, however, was that I could not actually get a job in it. I could have taught it, I suppose, and write books on the subject, which would never have sold, but neither option appealed. So I eventually settled for an offer from a leading American newspaper, the editor had known my family for years and he knew I could write, to work as a general news correspondent in France, Italy and Switzerland with a view to eventually becoming a full time staff correspondent. It was to give Francesca this news that I had driven down to Pisa the day after the crash and my news was quite overshadowed by hers.

Although we both could manage reasonably well in English and Italian we always spoke to each other in French. It had been the language of our meeting and subsequent relationship. “Hey, Edward, don’t look so sad. You have a great opportunity ahead of you if you take it. Think, I will always be able to follow the world news and know you are somewhere in the middle of it.” Her smile was too much for me. Lying there in her room with a crushed leg, broken arm and pelvis and a scar down the left cheek of her lovely face, she seemed to want to say goodbye. I could sense it. But I could never have said goodbye to her and gone on living happily myself. I think she also knew that.

“Cara, I have to start work in Rome in three weeks, and I don’t know how long I shall be there. But I shall come back to see you every weekend that I can.” She stretched out her good hand and clasped my wrist as hard as she could. Tears trickled down her face but she could not lift her body upright to kiss me as she so badly wanted. Instead I put a hand behind her head and drew her face up to mine and kissed her with all the passion I could convey given her injuries. “I will never leave you, Francesca, never. You will get better, the doctors say so and, no matter how long I may have to wait, one day I will marry you, I promise.” I had not nursed a crippled mother all my life without knowing how to convey love, hope and happiness when deep inside me I doubted if I even believed myself. We lived like this for more than two years as she improved very slowly, but I always fearing that she would never fully recover.

Luckily the paper liked my work and, as I was unmarried and was thus dispensable, in February 1968 I was posted as one of their two correspondents to Vietnam. The salary was good, even by American standards, and I was assured that most of this could be saved as it was the easiest posting there was for living off expenses. It should have been ‘over the moon’ time again, but my employers knew little or nothing about my little Francesca. That wintry day as I told her my news she was inconsolable. “No. My lovely Edward. No. Give up your job, resign but please don’t go so very far away to die without me. Oh, my Edward. Please don’t leave me alone.”

It was a dreadful moment. The worst in my life. My lovely Francesca, so stubbornly fighting to return to being the girl I had come to adore. Making such progress, too, only to have the spectre of my putative demise rise up before her and hurt her so cruelly she finally gave in to her true feelings and begged me, if I loved her, to stay with her and we would somehow find a life together. Her scar had almost disappeared and with my help she could walk again, if slowly, and we often went for short strolls together in the beautiful countryside around her home as she clung to me for support both physical and mental. She had not wasted her time since her illness improved and had nearly finished the work to gain her doctorate in languages. But both of us did not know what to do in the new circumstances. I too had continued studying to the level of a doctorate in history at university in Rome just to please myself. My family were really pleased with the success I had made in my career in journalism, and they would have been really upset if I had turned down such a good offer. Francesca’s parents took to me almost as a son-in-law in waiting. I would have happily married my Francesca there and then but she was adamant that she could never marry until she was fully well. Then I saw the new circumstances as an opportunity to get my own way in our ongoing dispute over our future,

“Francesca,” it was only four days before I was due to leave, “I want to do a deal with you. I can no more leave you than you can carry on without me. Well I told my boss yesterday that if the Vietnam job had not come up we would have been getting married very soon. He was very understanding and told me that there would be nothing in my contract stopping me from marrying whenever I wanted to. All the newspaper insisted on was that I was not married when they selected me to go to Asia. So if you came with me and we married after I had started the posting that would be fine. But I am the one who is making marriage the condition. As far as I am concerned the fact that you still have physical difficulties moving your legs means nothing to me. I just want you as my wife because I could never be happy carrying on living without making love to you.” I had played the only card I felt I had left.

“My Edward. Si. For you, si.” Her words lit up my whole world and once again I was ‘over the moon’. But we have spoken of the moon before. I wondered what I would find on the other side of this one.

Landing in Saigon for the first time, when rockets and grenades were in the air and all the civilians on the aircraft were so calm it was hard to believe the whole experience was not a dream, was both exciting and exhilarating. My only concern was how Francesca was going to manage disembarking. On the way across the world we had spent a week in Singapore where we had been married having arranged everything before leaving Europe. We had our honeymoon on a mile long beach on the Malay coast and all my lovely wife’s fears that her injuries would make her a total disappointment as a lover were proved completely false as we each found the other everything we could have hoped for.

Most people imagine a war zone that is daily under rocket and mortar attacks is not a nice place to live. But Francesca had a wonderful idea about how to pass her time while I did my work keeping my head down as best I could. She was told about a home for blind orphans aged between eight and sixteen, who desperately needed more people to help look after them and educate them. The voluntary medical and social workers were only too glad to have Francesca’s help, limited though it was. She was able to teach the youngsters three languages as well as help them in many practical ways and the set up was both therapeutic for her as well as a help for them. We had a flat in a modern block not long built by the American army for civilian workers involved in administrative war work. Quite a lot of journalists lived in this type of dwelling and we had a small and pleasant community in which we faced the trials of war together. Then one morning in June real terror struck. An early rocket and mortar barrage flattened the building we lived in. Two of my colleagues were killed and several more badly hurt. I was one of them, but in a way nobody realised at the time.

After spending several hours helping to dig out the injured I collapsed myself with what was at first just thought to be exhaustion. Then came the trauma. After being very dizzy and dopey for about an hour I actually lost consciousness and was out cold for some twelve hours. The medics put it down to stress and fatigue but the following day I found I could not focus properly and eventually was taken to the military hospital from where I was flown, with Francesca, to Manila, the nearest main city with decent American medical facilities. There I was diagnosed as suffering from shell shock and we were both flown back to the United States where the newspaper took over the cost and trouble of looking after me. My family were extremely worried and Helen flew out to Los Angeles to see me. My employers appreciated our strange situation, that is our lack of anywhere to live. We had been in Rome and Pisa before going to Asia and I had given up my flat in the Italian capital. What the paper had to decide now was where they wanted me to work as technically I was hired by head office and so I had to return to America, which of course I had, before being posted to my next assignment.

Helen, Francesca and I stayed in a very nice hotel while the company’s doctors made sure that my experience had not left any lasting damage. After a few weeks they were happy that I could return to work, but where? In the course of my years travelling round southern Europe much of what I wrote was concerned with religion, politics and sport. But it was all centred on one part of the world and obviously I was going to be of most use returning to my former stomping ground. It was now September 1968 and the paper had just recalled their main European diplomatic correspondent from London to work in Washington. After several days of discussions, about which I knew nothing at the time, thank heavens, I was delighted to be offered the job of chief political correspondent in London. The salary was extremely good and when I asked Francesca if she would like me to accept the offer she was ecstatic.

“You see, Edward. Everything is now going to be just as we both secretly wanted it to be, isn’t it?” She was more than right. This was ‘over the moon’ time with a vengeance and we celebrated that evening with Helen who had to return to Paris the next day. A week later we followed and were given two weeks to find a house to live in in England and in general settle down before I went back to work. The best part of that particular journey over the moon was the news that under the paper’s insurance rules I qualified for a handsome injury compensation package, on top of the money I had managed to save during the six months odd I had worked in Vietnam. This left me with enough to buy a lovely house on the Thames near Richmond and still have a nest egg saved to help us start a completely new life. Francesca, too, was so much better that she got a very good job teaching languages at a leading school. Everything really was turning out as well as it could. Well almost.

Sadly, just after Christmas 1968 my mother became very ill and in the following February she died. Dad was badly shaken, but had been expecting it for quite some time so managed to continue in his position in Paris where he now had a circle of close friends and colleagues, including Helen who had recently married, and was particularly happy for Francesca and me. It had been on March the twenty first, 1960, that the Sharpeville shooting started the whole sequence of events that led to my life taking the path it did. I had a good job, but I still spent a lot of time keeping up with my favourite subject, the lives of the Saints. I had written two books on the subject but not the sort of work that one would expect to sell in their millions. I enjoyed writing them much more than the modest income I got from them.

Now for the last shot at the moon that seals this circular series of events which constitute these closely linked memories concerning my resolution all those years ago. In the October of 1969 I was at a party given to raise funds for all anti racist movements throughout the world, when who should I bump into but the senior tutor who interviewed me at Oxford when I applied for a place there ten years earlier. He was fascinated by what I was doing and had kept up with my academic work, especially my books. I told him about the story of Francesca and me and he was really interested in how much we had managed to study even during our war torn years. Three days later I received a letter inviting us both to the college I would have attended where several professors and lecturers were interested in our story. So interested in fact that we were asked if we would like to give four lectures a year each on our experiences and the subjects in which we each now held Italian doctorates. We could hardly believe it. We may not have been offered ‘life for ever’ at Oxford, but regular working visits to the atmosphere we both loved could start at the beginning of the next year. That December I suddenly realised I had kept my resolution after all but by a journey I never even dreamed of. And now, in 2014 I am still giving occasional lectures at the university.

Last week I spotted our two grandchildren in the auditorium where I was giving the last pre-Christmas lecture on my subject. I got an odd thumping feeling in my heart. Francesca said it was my reward for having done the right thing and put the rest of my family, and those I loved, first in my life. But Helen only smiled and told me it was simply the wonderful feeling of being over the moon again. I really don’t know what I think. I am just grateful and happy for all God has done for my family and especially my lovely Francesca. You can guess the new year’s resolution I am carrying over into 2015.

Anton Wills-Eve

Who Dunnit?


Cause, Meet Effect

Who Dunnit?

Having written three full length novels, amongst the miles of articles, poems, news reports and love letters that have sprung from my keyboard over the years, I reflected that they were all basically romances. Some humorous, spiritual and both happy and sad but all definitely based on the burden that love can both place upon, and remove from, our shoulders. So I decided to give myself a complete change and write a detective story.

But there is one common factor in those first three books apart from romance. They all bear titles that are simply the names of the main characters. My first rather controversial novel, James and Jacqueline, received very mixed reviews. Some people just don’t like books on religious themes, even if the storyline is exciting, heart breaking and true. My second effort , John and Gemma was much better in the eyes of many because it really plumbed the depths of human emotions when two people are opposed on every side by relatives and friends who don’t want them to marry. So I lightened life up a bit in Glenda and Hugh and introduced a whole new approach to love. Two people drawn to each other by what they have in common in their likes and dislikes rather than just physical attraction. But frankly I felt I really did need a change so I set about my murder mystery. Yes, but what do you think it’s called. ‘Peter and Phylida’. Oh well, some things never change. But this book is changing me.

To begin with I seldom know my own story lines before I write a work of any length. With the love stories just the setting has been in my mind as I started them and this gets me interested in what is going to happen next. It has led to quite a few troubled nights wondering how my hero and heroine were going to deal with their latest crisis. Got me quite uptight on occasions too.

But, oh dear, it won’t stop. The most awful thing has happened. I have started a gripping tale of double murder, with a string of odious obvious baddies and several herrings which, if not bright red, are rather obviously pink. As Peter and Phylida are the work’s eponymous characters they have to be the amateur sleuths who have the thick, plodding policemen well beaten in their race to uncover all the twists and turns leading to the solving of the crimes. But I’ve hit a snag. As with all my works, except possibly when having the misfortune to be in charge of the news desk in Paris the night De Gaulle died, or when being nearly killed in a helicopter crash on the banks of the Mekong river between Vietnam and Cambodia, I don’t know what to write next.

You see my detectives cannot agree on what certain clues mean and so come up with different solutions to the events which rocked a small town community. Actually both endings would be equally good and I love them both, but I can only have one. So what do you think I decided to do? Well this prompt was about cause and effect. So I think I’ll name the endings A and B and take a coin and spin it as high as I can. If it comes down heads you get solution A and if tails denoument B. I hope if the poor people who publish this work of unalloyed crypto-suspense ever get to hear of how I decided on the ending they won’t just throw away the MS without even reading it.

That would be a shame, because I also could not resist making the main characters eighteen year old sixth formers in their last term at school who fall hopelessly in love right at the start. This gets my appalling inability to keep romance out of my novels out the way as fast as possible. Also I don’t actually want my readers to go out and search the highways and byways of their town to find, and strangle, the horribly precocious thirteen year old poetess who reduces our sleuths to tearing their hair out when judging a school poetry competition and having to read her absolutely sick-making entry. But it is a major clue so it has to stay. Now can you see what this prompt had done? Basically it’s made me put everyone off my next great work before it’s even hit the bookshops.

Ah well. Ask me to change my traditional writing themes and the effect will be that you have to wade through a disjointed thriller with an ending that only satisfies half of even the author’s brain. But do buy it when it comes out. That would be a really good effect!

Anton Wills-Eve

Who’s a Clever Boy Then?


Final Trio

Who’s a Clever Boy Then?

Once again I played my record of Dame Joan Sutherland singing the mad scene from Lucia di Lamamoor by Donizetti, one of the all time greatest soprano arias ever composed. Those who have heard it will know that the way La Stupenda, as the Italians called her, held the final top C was amongst the most astonishing achievements in the history of the human voice. Well she got it spot on again, not surprising as I always played the same record, and her voice smashed a crystal flower vase on the bookcase.

I was confined to my room for the rest of the day but it was worth it, both to hear such wonderful music and to complete a word press prompt in the space of just eight consecutive words.

Anton Wills-Eve

Peter and Jacqueline


Getting Seasonal

Peter and Jacqueline loved every minute of their Christmas and New Year when their parents took them to see Auntie Jill and uncle William and their new baby. He was born on Christmas Eve and his parents called him Nicholas after Father Christmas. It was a wonderful nine day holiday and they especially enjoyed helping their aunt settle in at home with their new cousin. Mummy and daddy were also thrilled and the whole family festivities were among the best they had known in their eight and a half years. Being twins they somehow always enjoyed the same things which made times like Christmas even more special.

By February the next year they were already looking forward to another Christmas but of course they had a birthday in June and they also wondered what to ask for for birthday presents. Whatever they wanted, however, they were disappointed because what they got was tragedy. They had little memory of the accident when the car was struck side on by a lorry on the motorway in April. Peter was concussed and sustained two fractured legs, a broken collar bone and worst of all was paralysed down his right side from the shoulder to the knee. Why the paralysis stopped there the doctors never knew but at least it meant that once they had mended and strengthened his legs he would be able to walk.

Poor Jacqueline was a much worse case. She had no serious physical injuries but the blow to the side of her head had left her in a coma and she still had not regained consciousness a couple of months later. As their birthday approached. Mummy asked Peter,

“Darling what would you like as a birthday present? I know it won’t be much fun this year with Jacquie so ill but you mustn’t be forgotten.” The little boy just stared at his mother in disbelief;

“You mean you think I want a present with Jacquie so bad? Of course I don’t. Don’t let anybody give me anything. Do you hear. Nothing from anyone. All I want is Jacquie able to speak and play and be happy again. That is the only thing I want. Understood?!” So vehement was his tone that his parents had a long chat and decided to cancel their twins’ ninth birthdays until Jacqueline was better. But that was the tragedy. The doctors had no idea when she was going to recover, or even if she was.

Her poor parents were distraught at the agony that had hit the family. They even felt guilty about the crash as they had escaped unhurt and only the back of their car was smashed in. But soon Peter’s legs started to mend and by the end of the summer holidays the doctors let him return to school as his paralysis had also eased almost totally and he could walk and write. But then came the real problem for the family. Peter had no interest in school any more. He could not play football or pay attention in class and, when asked by his teachers, was only able to say that he could not stop thinking about his sister. Half term passed and soon Christmas was looming with Jacquie still unable to move or communicate with anyone. She had a special ward to herself and was wired up with tubes and drips that were just about keeping her alive. Even a visit from Nicholas, now ten months old, registered nothing with the little girl. But Peter felt sorry for his little cousin and found himself at Jacquie’s bedside having a long talk with the baby and telling him all about how great life was going to be when the family were all restored to health. The grown ups and the doctors heard a lot of this and started to worry seriously about Peter’s mental state. How on earth would he cope with Christmas.

Again the little boy only asked for one present and refused anything else. At nine and a half years, though, he was able to realise how much some things mattered to his parents and aunt and uncle and decided not to spoil their Christmas. He helped decorate the house and the tree and told his mother that he had the oddest feeling that everything would be right. But he surprised her even more by asking for just one gift after all.

“Mummy, on Christmas Eve, in the afternoon could I have an hour to myself in Jacquie’s ward with her? Just the two of us and no adults or anyone interrupting us. You see I know it may be my last Christmas with her and I so want to tell her how much I’ll miss her if it is. But we’d have to be alone. I couldn’t do it if other people were in the room.”

His mother realised he wanted to say goodbye to his twin and she just managed to promise him he could have his wish before getting to her bedroom, shutting the door and crying her eyes out. She told the hospital and the family what Peter had asked and added that she would be dreadfully upset if her son was not allowed to say goodbye to his sister. Nobody even thought for a minute that he should be denied his wish and so it was all arranged as he asked.

At three o’clock on Christmas Eve afternoon they shut the ward door on Peter and Jacquie and a nurse sat outside the door in case she was needed. The others waited in the hospital coffee bar. Then at ten to four the ward door opened and a beaming Peter came out. He was glowing with happiness, joy such as nobody had ever seen in his face before. He walked slowly up to his parents and just almost whispered to them.

“You can go in now. She kept her word. As I asked her very slowly, in case she had difficulty understanding, if she would like to give me a present before she died she answered me. Yes she did, she answered me. She said, “Peter who said I was dying? I’ve been asleep, that’s all. You know you only had to ask to wake me up.” Parents, doctors, relatives and nurses rushed into the ward and were amazed to find Jacqueline half propped up on one elbow asking what all the tubes were for…..

Some said it was expected, some a miracle, some couldn’t make sense of it at all. But Peter just slowly walked in behind them wondering what all the fuss was about. As he told the family as they celebrated Christmas round Jacqueline’s bed the next day,

“We’re twins. I’d have known if she was going to die. Wouldn’t I?”

Anton Wills-Eve

Concerto in A Major Hurry


<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/in-due-time/”>In Due Time</a>

 

The music impressario was never off the phone. The first performance of my third piano concerto was due to be given at the Festival Hall with the London Symphony Orchestra  in three days time and I had not even finished the orchestra’s score to give to the conductor, Sven Gottstein, to start some sort of rehearsals. My mobile went  again and I almost lost my temper,

“Look, Johan, I can either compose in silence with just my piano, or I can throw the whole work out of the window because it cannot be finished with all these interruptions. Okay? Now you have no options at all. I will finish the score for Sven by midnight and he’ll have it in time to print off all the copies he wants and start work on it at noon tomorrow. Tell him I’ll be there to advise him when he asks and to play the solo part. Now go away. Capisce?!”

I don’t think he did understand  but at least he left me alone for the rest of the evening. I was actually doing very well with the first and final movements finished and very much as I wanted them. It was the quiet, lilting melody of the slow second movement that was driving me mad. I almost had a glorious tune in my head, but not quite. The more times I played it over and over the more frustrated I became. It sounded dreadful when I introduced the main theme again, borrowed from the opening bars of the first movement and recurring three times in all during the whole concerto. But it just sounded wrong played at the tempo at which I played it to myself about twenty times.

It was nearing midnight and I just gave up. To hell with my reputation or my career. this would be remembered as the one major work that did not quite come off and I would be slated in the music reviews on Sunday morning. But by now I could not care less. I just printed off everything I had written and put in order before ringing the bell for Jane to come up to the music room on our top floor and ask her to take the music score round to Sven. She looked worried.

“Darling, are you all right? You’ve gone pale and drawn and you look ill. Have you been overworking again?”

“No, just trying to keep to Johan’s stupid deadlines. That’s the best I can do. Tell them I’ll be at the Hall at 1.00pm. Sorry if I sound  short tempered. I had a really good melody going there but it just wouldn’t come out. Still it’s the best I can do in the time.” When she had delivered my manuscript to the temperamental conductor she came back to the flat and curled up on the sofa with me, calming me down and kissing some sort of serenity back into my fevered mind.

“You know I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you, Jane. But as long as I have got you I don’t care about my music. You’re the only thing that comes between me, the piano and heaven!”

I actually turned up at the Hall at about half past two and Sven was looking at the end of his tether. Also some of the orchestral musicians looked at me rather oddly as I joined them all. Sven beckoned to me with his curled fingers and said, “Eh, amigo. Come here.Look at wot you ‘ave done. Is this ‘ow you really want this piece to be played? Eh? Really?” I looked down at what had happened, smiled to myself and replied,

“Of course. It is a new concept in the structure of the concerto. Just play the whole orchestral accompaniment to me right through and don’t say a word. And Sven. Let the orchestra play what it feels as well as what you direct. Now do you  begin to understand? Both the conductor and the musicians seemed to realise what I had done as they played the music through in its entirety but without the soloist accompanying them. When they finished they were stunned. Several of them whom I knew well just shook me by the hand, tears in their eyes and even Sven could not resist asking,

“What put such a brilliant idea into your head? I could not believe it at first but I am certain it not only works but will revolutionise the concept of symphonic harmonic structure from now on. I cannot wait to hear it with your piano accompaniment.”

That Sunday the classical music reviews were unanimous. But perhaps Justin Porkington-Cringe of the daily Bugle summed up all his colleagues’ opinions best when he wrote,

“And then, to hold back the beautiful slow andante, with its soft and spell binding melody until the very end, and finish a concerto with just the soft notes of the weeping solo piano as it slowly fell away into the sad ending of a wonderful variation on the main theme, was both a daring and brilliant innovation.”

Jane, doubled up with mirth on the floor of our sitting room as she read this, could not resist pointing out to me that in my haste I had given her the movements in the wrong order and the second movement had been played last. But I explained to her that it was only as I came to play the finale, on the night of the first performance, that the tune fully developed in my mind.

Anton Wills-Eve