50 GONE, 50 TO GO.
by Anton Wills-Eve
cheering up the over 50’s.
50 GONE, 50 TO GO.
When I was very young, you know a few centuries ago, male life expectancy was around 72 years on average. When I reached 35 it had risen to about 79 and when I was 50 it was an incredible 85. So imagine how I feel now when 50 is only half, or 50%, of the life probability of any healthy normal man in the developed world. Thinking back, I am already two years past my original deadline – a former girl friend’s awful joke not mine!
But apparently for every terminally life threatening illness, accident or injury in your life after 50 you can knock five years off your maximum forecastable life span. This would mean I am running at minus 30 at the moment and actually died 4 years ago. Well I don’t think I did, at least nobody told me if I did. So I shall stick with my own love of showing how meaningless all statistics really are, and say that whatever my actual age I will probably last at least 50 per cent of the adjusted time left to me.
This is great fun because it makes me immortal. Do you see it? Well, if I’ve reached 74 and should have died at 70, then my age is easily proven to be expectancy +4 . But all 74 year olds of normal health are still only aged forecasted death – 26. But as my forecasted age is now plus 4 then on a 50% average I can hope to reach (70 + 4 ) – (26- 13) all of which equals 61. But As you can see I am 13 years past that so on the 50% probability rule I should last another 6.5 years at least, or 80 odd. And the great thing is that exponentially that figure can never go down, only decrease in relation to my state of health or due to fatal injury or accident.
I’m getting quite animated and beginning to wonder who will be hired to assassinate me when I’m 100 and still categorised as unperishable goods! Boy, being hopeless at maths is great fun. Especially for the over 50’s.